No sex in my city yet.

I don’t know; but I found it hilarious that I just thought of writing a blog entitled:

How to be Carrie Bradshaw from SeX in the City; without the wardrobe, budget, or talent.

Lol.

So. This is the kind of stuff that runs through my mind.

It IS funny….but it’s not.

I should have more faith in myself.

I struggle with it and I wish I didn’t.

Love yourself Jenni.

You can

do it.

Work.

J.Rounds ©2018 ~Peaces of ME

The Fallout is never as epic, as it is in your head.

I mostly feel run over.

This time spent building nothing but a pipe-dream of a life with you….

It was no life at all in the end.

No grounds to stand on; never was. No way to get through the walls you built; or for that matter; no way to get through MY walls to get to you….anymore.

That is what the damage really is.

This is the loss.

The loss of someone who doesn’t feel the same way about me; as I did about him.

Literally made me into an enemy; to feed the thoughts in his head.

Is it really a loss if it was all based on mistruths and secrets? Is it really a loss when that person doesn’t skip a beat; and moves on with life like it never meant anything? Chooses the easy, instead of the work to make things better. Prefers to be without you; because the reality is too hard.

There’s the answer; and it’s not a new one.

I wont feel bad about that. It’s not really a loss; because it’s actually a lesson.

Today I will focus on loving myself and doing things for myself that will get me moving forward again, and where I belong.

I think losing faith in one thing; or a person; doesn’t mean you have to lose faith in everything.

My obvious disappointment will not deter me from bigger and better opportunities in my life.

Fear will.

That’s the work I have to keep doing.

It has nothing to do with whatever guy is riding beside me; or what relationship I’m in/out of….or not.

A man doesnt make me; I DO.

People walk in and out of my life every day.

I am never afraid to let the ones that are not strong enough to stay; walk away.

They were not meant to be in my life; or they would be.

My choice; is to know that it doesn’t decrease my value as a person.

And it never did.

My issues are mine; and yours are yours.

Although I will miss some things; I’m moving forward knowing that I don’t have to look back this time.

I don’t have to have it all figured out.

That’s freeing.

Love yourself.

I will miss the idea of who you pretended be.

J.Rounds ©2018 ~Peaces of ME

This I Know.

I work on myself because it makes me feel better about the shitty things I’ve done to other people, and MY life.

I want to leave a positive mark on the world in some way, so that my children and the people I love will remember my strengths, not my weaknesses. 

Nothing more. 

I will fight to do that.

And I’m going to win.

J. Rounds ©2017 ~Peaces of ME