The rain falls hard and to the side. It’s the kind that’s going to get you drenched no matter what, so don’t even bother with the umbrella.
On the ledge my cat sleeps, and I’m surprised she’s not awake trying to play with the water droplets; the cat has a person in her that likes water very much; I’m almost positive. Lol.
I always say that, “My cats have people in them.” They are too human acting in their everyday ways, to make me not consider it frequently.
I’m tired today. My brain is tired. One thing about being bipolar, is that it takes a lot out of you sometimes. It’s hard to be up and down, up and down, like I am. I literally change moods when the wind blows, and I relish in the moments of true peace, because they seem to be so few and far between these last years.
I think I need to find the parts of myself that hide away, and give them another firm talking to. I need to remember that I can’t control any single thing but myself; and I should most definitely start there.
Just because some things are harder than others to understand, doesn’t mean it’s not worth understanding. I’ve been many times on the other side of things; so I do know how it feels to be misunderstood and regretful.
I’m still needing more understanding.
I also think that I can’t discount my personal opinions and boundaries, just to accept something.
Understanding doesn’t mean accepting, and work needs to be done on the actual problems that are REAL, or I will have no choice but to watch the rain, from another window.
I have made that commitment to myself, because I have to.
I am going day to day, and continuing to work on myself. It’s going to require a joint effort to get through…and I can only control, what I do.
No one is exempt from “change for the better”. I think it’s all about, how bad you want to change, and what you’ll do to get there.
I am four months, and twenty-eight days sober.
I made an intake appointment with a new therapist today.
J.Rounds ©2017 ~Peaces of ME