I spoke to the woman at the therapy center I found, that offers the EMDR treatment that I’ve been wanting to get.
She told me that even though they did accept my insurance; the particular therapist I enquired about, was not taking new patients and wouldn’t be any time soon.
At first I was bummed, because from what it looked like, that therapist was the only one at that office that offered the EMDR therapy.
I’m glad I took some deep breaths; and didn’t let my thinking get away from me on it. The next thing the woman told me, was that that was not the case. The main therapist of the whole place; was somewhat of a guru of EMDR it seems; and he would be back from vacation next week. After that they were going to be opening up the schedule, and they could then, get me in.
She put me on a waiting list, and said it would be anywhere from one to three weeks wait; and she would call me soon.
I’m relieved. In my mind I thought it was going to be way harder to get something set up; I’m glad I was wrong about that.
I’m glad I made the effort to get the ball rolling finally, and that I stopped focusing on the scariness factor of it all. I’m sure that fear will be an ongoing challenge, that I will have to continue to work through.
Fear has always held me; and held me back from all kinds of things I could have done in life.
I know now that those things can still come to fruition…..and fear is just an emotion that I should stop giving so much power to.
I am proud of myself for doing today. I am proud of myself for not feeling shameful about needing more coping skills. I am proud of myself for accepting the fact that it is ok to be an ongoing work in progress.
Progress is what counts; and the work to get there, I know I am capable of doing.
I am one year, three months, and twenty-two days sober; and I will be 47 years old, in a week.
I hope to see my children in the next weeks coming up to celebrate; but I think following through on this therapist thing, is equally as important of a Birthday gift to myself.
I know we all move in our own ways. Sometimes it takes less time than it would take someone else to make their move. Sometimes you have to learn how to make the move.
Sometimes you just have to jump in, and have faith that you are a strong swimmer; when you know for a fact that you are.
I will be ok. I will be better than ok. I will continue to be patient every day with myself; because I am my own friend; and a good one .
J.Rounds ©2018 ~Peaces of ME