I’m tired of being put in positions for other people’s gains and I won’t be anymore.
I could be in a completely different place had I known the truth of the matter.
My life is not waiting for others to get their shit together and change.
It’s not my job to make other people comfortable at the literal expense of myself because they feel entitled, either.
My life is changing on the daily and I’m at my limit of what I can give out. Literally.
I have things I have to focus on to make my life work, and to not lose the things that I have worked for. Why should I have to?
I won’t go backward for anyone, especially when it’s not even appreciated and the whole thing was a ruse in the first place, just to not have to fall alone, or try. Thanks.
You don’t even know how hurtful it is and you don’t even care.
It’s always great until I’ve got nothing else to give. Right? It’s hard to keep doing for others when there’s nothing but people implying that you aren’t doing enough, and they aren’t doing anything at all themselves.
Why don’t YOU do something for a change?
I have kids that I can’t even afford to see, and I live 45 minutes away from them.
I have 33¢ in my bank account. My credit card is maxed out, even after a credit increase. For giving when I didn’t have it to give.
That’s fucking sad and not right, considering what’s actually going on. Considering you knew all along your position.
I’m making some hard choices and it’s not going to be fun.
But at the end of the day no one’s doing anything for me, but ME. It’s very obvious as well. Very.
I want to move forward and not back, and that is exactly what I’m going to do.
Your life is on you. I can’t save you. You have to save yourself.
It’s not fair to me, to make me feel guilty for that either.
I’m 2 years, 7 months, and 25 days sober. I don’t even smoke anymore, and haven’t for over two months. You’d never, ever know it if you went just based off the way I’ve been feeling inside over all of this.
I bet you didn’t even consider my feelings.
That is what hurts most of all.
Loving myself, because I deserve to.
J.Rounds ©2019 ~Peaces of ME