I think one of the biggest issues I’ve had in life, is my rather overwhelming need to feel like I’m truly being valued and heard; but never really feeling it fully at all, from anyone or anywhere.
This includes by people in my real life, as well as on social media, and in social situations.
It used to make me sad……. that I wasn’t worth the effort or love; the time, concern, respect, or loyalty….”What’s wrong with me? Why does everyone treat me like I’m nothing?” Blah, blah, blah.
I always ended up on the wrong end of things….I was a bitter person because of it. I blamed everybody else for every situation I was in.
My thoughts in the past with value and acceptance, where based off of a dysfunctional childhood that I couldn’t let go of; a life of discontent, addictive behaviors, and mental health issues. I still have some of those issues.
I used to get all bitchy and dramatic about it…and sometimes, I still do. Although all my core Bullshit remains; I’d like to think, that those moments have reduced severely since last year.
Truthfully, there’s only a few people I even care about enough anymore, to let close enough to get past my wall. Truthfully, no one owes me one damn thing in this life. Truthfully, I’m just trying to finish this blog post that I started over a year ago.
My thoughts on value and acceptance now, are based off principle and common sense.
My value isn’t worth anything, if I have to talk you into believing that I’m valuable; even when I’m proving it with my actions already….and vice versa.
I’m not going to spend time talking you into anything.
There it is; there’s my current way of thinking.
I’ve learned to live in real life; and with the apologies and validations, that I will never get. I’m not going to spend time on something that makes me feel empty; it doesn’t matter what or who it is.
Neither should you.
I’ve personally found that it’s best to invest quality time on yourself; so that no matter what, you’re good in your own worth; on your own; because that’s all that matters.
Many people see value in many things; but most don’t even realize the value of something; miss out on it all together; or don’t even care to find it.
Life goes on.
To value myself is the greatest gift I ever gave myself….NO returns.
Some days I have to dig deeper than others; but I do know at the end of the day; I’m good.
There’s quite a power in that on a whole because it makes you better able to genuinely practice healthy living. 🙂
Also; If you don’t value yourself; no one else will. If it’s not even worth it to you; you can’t much expect it to be worth it to anyone else either.
J.Rounds ©2016 ~Peaces of ME