Reconsideration. 

I’ve decided to keep this blog going after all. It would be like turning my back on a part of myself that’s good; and that would just be stupid.

Two years of my life, today, on digital world view. As hard as it’s been….Finding yourself;  in the midst of random strangers; is a good way to deal/heal fears, and is very freeing.

I reserve my right to make harmless, reversable, bipolar decisions.

………………………………………………..

I turned off and deactivated my social media accounts to focus on my goals.

I am 67 days sober.

There is a light in me again that grows stronger every single day.

I am grateful for the people in my life.

I realized that being afraid of failure, is keeping me from doing what I need to do to succeed.

I also realized that I can’t much do anything or get anything done, if I don’t do it.

Fear of failure is not an option for me any longer. It’s held me down for most of my life; and that’s just over now.

Love yourself. 

 J.Rounds ©2017 ~Peaces of ME

Since I’m Venting I Might As Well Own It

You know when things happen to you, and you’re like wtf?

This is one of those instances.

So I figure as long as I’m having one of those nights, I’d come clean about an article, that technically makes me a published model.

The chick in this article is ME.

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I was really pissed when I first happened upon it, because I was not asked for the image use, and did not want to be hooked to an article such as this. My reason that it was because it made me look weak, and I was going through major cyber bullying at the time this article was released… by many people.

NOW, I think the reason I was also irritated, is that the article related some to me.  How’s that for full circle.

I have so since gotten a full apology from the author of this article, as well as the publisher. I’m satisfied. 

Soon some things with my image will be changing. I’ve worked a long time to network and build myself and I’m ready to make the next move. It’s slow but sure.

I’ll be blogging at my other site tomorrow for the first time. I’ve waited this long for personal reasons, and people giving me issues.

Don’t stop. Because when you start to get somewhere, many want you too.

That’s their issue.

J. Rounds (c)2016 ~Peace of Me

The Here and the Now in my World

I enjoy anticipation but I’m impatient.

I’m a German Jew and I don’t practice any “technical” faith because I think organized religion for the most part is Bullshit, although I have the utmost respect for other people’s views on religion in general….just don’t try to Jesus me.

I’m flawed miserably and sometimes even hypocritical. Sometimes I’m a mess inside, even when I have a full face of make up on, and I seem to be in the best mood.

I’m not too sure sometimes if I’m worth knowing (even though I know those are only my demons fighting with themselves)

So what; I’m human.

Point is…I’m done with the downsizing of myself. Done with it. I’m thinking about these things tonight, because I again have met another goal, and I think it’s time to realize that the only one holding myself back is me.

Today; I was recognized for my writing and asked to join a team of bloggers on a website that is just starting but thriving ridiculously. I’m a contributing Blogger now. Here

I don’t know really how things happen; but I DO know when you don’t hold back, you succeed.

This is my foot in the door. I was ask to blog on this site. This is something that came to me based on my writing. I did it.
Another goal 🙂 It’s possible to get hooked up with sources I’d need to advance in this field now, and a good opportunity to help others with my words.

I’m proud of myself, and happy.

I’m so happy. 🙂

Love yourself.

J.Rounds (c)2016 ~Peaces of Me
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Good News in my world.

It’s crazy how things work out if you just keep applying yourself.

I met two goals today.  Getting a new computer is now possible for me and it’s based off of scholarship I submitted for last September.

I told myself if I got it, I would invest it in my education. Since I need a new computer in the worst way, that’s exactly what’s getting purchased.

I’m proud of myself for getting the scholarship, because I didn’t think I would get it. I submitted anyways, because I took the chance on myself that I was good enough, and I was. It’s a good feeling to have.

Funny how when you least expect it, a little piece will fall into place. It really is crazy how that seems to happen.

Good news is I’ll finally have a computer fast enough to get me through school and the immediate aftermath with a few simple upgrades.

I’m super stoked, and that doesn’t happen too much for me so I’m happy.

These are my small victories that mean something more to me than anyone even knows.

Love yourself.

J.Rounds ~Peaces of Me

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June 27, 2016

Even though you are scared shitless and don’t think anything is going to be O.K. at all right now; IT’S GOING TO BE O.K.; O.K.?!  Just believe it and make it so. You are a strong person and you can do anything you set your mind to.

You can do it. You have been through, and survived, worse things than this.

Love yourself.

J.Rounds 2016~Peaces of me

May 6th, 2016

Bills are paid, school is almost caught up, and I’m finally pulling out of this funk I was in.

I love the rain but it’s been a while with it now. I wish it was at least thundering. That’s my favorite.

Got to get some money together soon so I can do what I need to do to move forward. No idea, but has to be done.

Car and computer for school is next on list, also money for photos so I can start submitting pics to certain things. I have numerous t- shirt companies following me on instagram which is cool, and I think I might be able to get some exposure at least. There are many pinup groups that do charity work, and I’d like to get in on that for sure. That’s a goal. No reason I can’t.

Still writing ever single day. Still broke af, but grateful. Still going in July to see kids if allowed.

One day at a time.
I’m feeling hopeful today.

J.Rounds (c)2016 ~Peaces of Me

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GO FOR IT.

Life passes by and you find yourself missing out on things and opportunities, because you were afraid of others peoples’ opinions and reactions, or you didn’t have enough faith in yourself, or those around you.

The thing is you’re missing out.

You have to take the chance and believe, or you’ll just never find out what could be and always wonder.

Judge me all you want, but I’m a good person.

I’m going for my goals no matter what anyone else says.

I’m happy in my skin, and believe in me.

Love yourself.

J.Rounds (c)2016 ~Peaces of Me

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Opportunities.

Never stop believing in yourself and your abilities.

For the past seven-and-a-half years, (three years you’ve really seen) I have been struggling to find myself; to heal;  and to get my life back to the point that I could feel as though I was actively moving forward, and not two steps forward and a million steps back.

I have actively pursued any avenue I could find to keep myself alfloat and not sinking; even though I struggled very badly, and drifted in and out of moments of complete madness and despair many times; and it showed fully.

I’m not dead yet.

I told myself many lies and half-truths at first: but I became willing and wanting to change for the better. I was formally diagnosed and properly medicated. I knew that I was meant for more than the life that I was leading. I wanted to stop hurting myself, my children, and sabotaging my dreams and hopes for a better future; just because I was grieving and strung out on different things, and drinking too much on a consistent basis.

I was tired of it.

I have not followed the mainstream at all; learned almost everything the hard way. I made some really bad choices because I was niave and flat-out stupid. I suffered major scrutiny and abuse from many people all over the internet for it too. It fucking sucked.

Be the change.

During this time I have been networking tirelessly and I never stopped believing that I’d find some avenue, that would allow me a chance to show what I had to offer, in a legitimate way.

Many people have or have tried to take advantage of me in this time period. Many people told me I would never amount to anything, and that I should get a “real” job and stop being lazy.

I never gave up believing in myself.

Don’t give up.

I believe I’ve found such an avenue that will back me so that I can promote many things I’ve wanted to do for a long time.

I was contacted tonight.

I do not want to jinx it, but I’m excited.  It is in the fetal stages as of yet; but it is a real, legitimate project now; It’s going to happen. Which is something that wasn’t true just this morning.

I have a lot of work to do and things to get together;  but I’m great under pressure and I will have some actual guidance and funding which is what I have needed. And that’s all I’m going to say.

People can say whatever they want about me.  I really don’t care at all at this point.  This is another goal I have met for myself and the next goal is making the project happen. It may not be a worldwide, multi-million dollar thing; but it’ll be mine, I’ll control it, and I know I can make it successful if I try hard enough. That works for me.

I want to be able to provide for myself and my children like everybody else does, and be able to do what I want creatively in the process. I want to be an actual productive person, live to my fullest potential, and be happy. Just like you.

I will be.

THIS IS ME.

This is day 81 and I feel freaking fantastic and hopeful.  I’m doing really good in school too; pulling an A in this photography class as well. I’m stoked about it and proud of myself.

You just can’t take that away from me if you tried.  I deserve this break.

It’s about time.

Love yourself.  You are worth it.

J.Rounds (c)2015 ~Peaces of Me

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Moving Forward

You know for the last few days I’ve been feeling kind of down about things in my life that I feel I have no control over.

I decided to look on the upside.

Despite the hardships that may be things that I can’t do anything about right now; there are many things I can do.

I have to remind myself that I can’t just wait around for my life to go a certain way; because that’s just not the reality of the way things work.

I have to take each day as a new opportunity to pursue my goals to the fullest; and not get caught up in the stress of the unknown.

I am changing again.

There was a time way, way back when I was creative; in an artistic sense. I miss it.

I decided as well as school, writing and photography, I will be actively pursuing my art and its’ collective madness, in all forms again.  This includes drawing, painting, sculpting, sewing, and whatever else may stem from it.

I think I left a big part of me behind when I gave these things up for one reason or another. I think if I start doing them again, it would be good for my soul and my emotional state; and just perhaps financially too; who knows. Stranger things have happened.

I just made this decision tonight.

You only got one trip, and you’ve got to enjoy it or it ain’t worth it.

I intend to.

Love yourself.

J.Rounds (c)2015 ~Peaces of Me

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