Guns or Our Children? Views of a Bipolar Mother.

I struggle to believe that the world has come down to choosing weapons over children’s/people’s lives and well-being…but it seems more and more to be the case.

I have been very vocal about my opinions on it on social media; as well as my political stances on other nonsense that seems to be going on in my country absolutely every, single day.

I feel compelled to spread REASON, amongst SO many that seem to not have any.

Do you get as tired of the way the world is as I do; and if not, why?

It seems everyone says speak your voice. But when you do, people act as if you are being too dramatic or fanaticle.

How is that MY issue that you don’t want to see reality?

It’s my issue because kids are DYING. I have kids in school. How is modifying gun laws and gun practices even a choice for gun owners??

Has the world gone mad, and am I in a dream?

Adults acting as if their rights are more important than the children we are all supposed to be raising properly.

If I can be ok with not being able to even own a weapon because I have documented mental issues; and by society’s standards I’m a “risk” because of it…….. If I can’t even own a gun to “protect” myself when I’m not a threat to anyone; then why aren’t YOU ok with not being able to get every, single version of gun that you want; if it would potentially save lives as well? Why do you get to put your needs over the kids getting shot by other kids in their own classrooms?

I don’t care if you want an automatic weapon or the right to buy it, or not.

Your rights are not more important than a childs. My child’s. I learned that the hard way; a different way; but that is STILL the truth of the matter.

*Your rights don’t matter compared to a child’s life, their safety, or rights.*

It’s time to listen to our children more, and engage with them…..put down our phones and realize our kids are raising themselves emotionally….and that’s not right. They NEED love. They NEED safety. They NEED direction and positive reinforcement. They need their parents and adults that CARE. They need a safer world to live in and schools to go to that provide needed safety.

And I’ll keep saying that, and speaking out about that fact.

Just like it’s not important that I get to own one, because I’m bi-polar, you as a gun owner, can get real and sacrifice as well.

It’s just not THAT important. NOT in a world like today.

Do you want to keep your children safe or potentially bury them do to a kid getting a weapon they shouldn’t have, and coming in to your kids school, and shooting it up?

THINK about it. These are KIDS with war weapons, the weapon of choice in mass school shootings.

One of the things we have to do is get gun owners to realize that NO ONE is saying that you CAN’T own a gun.

But you don’t need to own an assault weapon of any kind, unless you can prove you have a NEED for it; and pass any kind of vetting there is to get one…..which should be tons of red tape, and hard to get anyways.

At one point does reason enter in to this gun situation?

Fyi. I’d love to go to a gun range and shoot an automatic weapon. That would be fun.

But I have no issue NOT doing it, because I know that at the end of the day…that doesn’t mean anything to be able to have the right to do that VS. someone’s life…. Because I’m bi-polar.

I won’t feel bad or offended for wanting my kids to have a chance at the future!!

Gun people, get a fucking handgun and a rifle and be a sane person. Can YOU pass a psychological exam? Why do you need an automatic weapon? Who is coming to get you, that you feel you need an automatic weapon to defend yourself; when I don’t need anything but my voice and reason?

My rights aren’t important, because I’m bipolar? Its not important, because it’s not YOUR KID that is the victim?

Stop bitching about how many guns you can get. No one cares; I know I don’t.

Kids are DYING.

I don’t want it to happen again, OR lose another child for YOUR GUNS.

Guns are part of the problem; as well as the attitudes of a lot of you that carry them.

BETTER REGULATIONS!!

***Stricter penalties for anyone owning illegal/undocumented weapons, and being caught with them***

Gun show rules changed. No immediate sales of guns to anyone not already having had a proper psych evaluation and documentation of it, added on to background check.

I don’t care.

Gifting registry started and documented/ran the same way. (Make it work)

Legal documentation for EVERY gun owned by American citizens everywhere. NOW. We need to get an accurate record of that. Also the reason for having high-powered weapons, if you have them.

Every, single purchase and sale of a gun documented, with extensive background check and waiting period. NOW. Longer waiting periods.

All new sales of automatic weapons and magazines holding too many bullets, made illegal to common public…NOW.

***Age to buy gun raised.***

Any new special permits granted for owning an automatic weapon; only granted with extensive regulations, background checks and permissions…also reason for owning. This includes people that already have them, as previously stated.

You should have to be psychologically evaluated too.

If my rights are infringed upon, and my kids lives not important… Then it should also be a hassel for you…FULLY.

For me, the list goes on and on for what you should do.
It shouldn’t be easy for people to get war guns. Especially when they are children with problems; getting and using these guns… on other children.

Throwing more guns at the situation and arming teachers doesn’t do anything but create more potential for school violence and moral issues for some teachers; they will have to choose between teaching and their beliefs.

Kids lose.

Teachers shouldn’t have to carry weapons to protect their children. We shouldn’t be expecting them to either.

THAT’S NOT TEACHING.

I’ve been beside myself about this particular issue, because I have two school-aged children; and I also know the pain of losing a child tragically.

That is not a pain you want to carry.

Instead of throwing more guns at the situation; why don’t we invest in the future of our children and change the gun laws to make them SANE; and hire a mental health team for every school, so maybe on certain days the students sit in a class with trained mental health professionals; vent out frustrations; and learn how to cope with life in a world like today. How would that be a bad thing? Clearly you could help students and children in general, also get the ones that aren’t doing so good, a safe place to be able to talk about it, AND A VALID attempt at the help they NEED.

Prevention. Mental health awareness. Investing in the things that MATTER; instead of money, right to bear arms, and making excuses for the reasons you feel it’s more important to own warguns, instead of protecting the children of this nation from themselves.

I feel the real people that we should be protecting them from… Is a government and society that doesn’t care what happens to them, or what they feel. People that just want their guns.

This is a new level of dysfunction, that we as society promote daily.

I can’t live with that fact anymore; or the fact that my children’s school could be next.

You will not see me quiet down about it; until people start to get some moral fiber again…and our kids don’t have to fend for themselves when adults should be doing it for them instead.

P.s.

I’m glad to know there are REAL talks going on about this finally. And that there are brilliant minds that will change the future of our world, for and with positivity and diligence.

Because it’s going to happen…and IS happening.

BE THE CHANGE THE WORLD NEEDS.

Even if it’s just one person at a time; together, we can make a better future for our children possible… AND safer…and stop the cycle of dysfunction for many, from even occurring.

Those children can’t get their lives back. And it could have been prevented. All of the shootings could have been.

J.Rounds ©2018 ~Peaces of ME

#payattentiontoyourkids

#safeschoolsforkids #revisedsecondamendment
#mentalhealthawareness
#change
#realitycheck
#commonsense

Untitled.

You choose the easiest way, because it requires less effort…and suits you directly; right now.

I know, because I’ve lived it; and was that person too, in the past.

It’s never the easiest way though. You know this. 

That’s why it’s frustrating.

Unfortunately, the easiest way, is not always the best way to go. Many times you end up missing out on things you could have achieved or had, or people who would have stayed in your life; because at the time you didn’t think taking the easy way mattered…and it was easier than trying to go the other way. 

Everything is relevant. Your choices on ways to go are relevant too…

Like a last goodbye. 

What and whom you focus your attention on; is what you put your effort into; and it is like anything else. 

What will you choose to fight for?

Empty promises, words destroyed by your actions time and again.

More than anything, I want to take the best way, not the easiest one. 

If you are not beside me; I will go alone. 

There’s a future that awaits me; and it’s coming regardless of the hurdles.

There is no easy way to get there at all; and I can’t walk for both of us anymore, because I am tired.

Love yourself.

J.Rounds ©2017 ~Peaces of ME

Even Ground…and solidifying a foundation.

I feel as close to “normal” today, as I’ve probably ever felt since I’ve been in Ohio.

I’m gonna’ take that, Alllll day; thank you.

As you’ve maybe read; I had been riding the emotional wave lately, for a good bit… for many valid reasons.

When I decided to come here to Ohio, it was because I didn’t see the point of staying in PA, when I knew I wanted to be with T. There was nothing keeping me at all where I was.

What I didn’t really expect, is how hard it would actually be. The idea of a life together and the reality of living life together…has been…two totally different things. 

It has been major work, and lots of stress. SO many good times…but also lots of shit. A lot has happened in a rather short period of time. 

I left everything I had aquired, besides my personals and cats; I moved into T’s house; I detoxed from all my synthetic meds; we became sober, and still work to stay that way daily; a lot of things and people have been put where they belong because they aren’t healthy outlets to have around, and don’t care at all about our actual well-being; a lot of uncertainties about major things have come up…

There is more work to do; and I’m sure at points, more stress to come as well.

We both struggle with fear of failure, and lives that have been pretty messed up…addictions, bipolar, childhoods that have been traumatic, stupid shit we’ve done to ourselves and each other….yadda,yadda.

Yeah, in theory the thought was WAY easier than what the actual reality has been.

I realized last night, that the “honeymoon” is over; and after talking last night with T, I saw our relationship for what it was…

When I think about where I would be if I hadn’t of come here, I think it comes down to me living vs. not living. 

In PA, I wasn’t really living.

I was just finally falling into the fact that I would always be on the system in some way, and always on some form of synthetic medication to cope with myself. I was in therapy with a therapist that did absolutely nothing for me but keep me in meds., and push me towards taking more. Then she quit, and I had to face the option, of starting over again; and staying in the same useless cycle of “pseudo safe”. I began relapsing; more than I wanted to admit. I was having horrible side effects and health issues from the meds I was on, and I was scared for my physical health in the future. I was dealing with an abusive, online relationship that I could not seem to end.

I didn’t think I’d ever find it in me, to open up to anyone really; let alone a male; ever again. One day I just decided that if I ever wanted a relationship again, and the kind of relationship I wanted…I would simply have to.

I did prefer to be alone most times, but I didn’t want to be alone forever….because I knew I had love to give; and wanted to give it to someone special; I wanted to “live” like that again.

One day I posted something really depressing about myself on Facebook…

I have over 550 “friends”, and over 850 people following every single move I make on there…

T was the only one to message me, to see if I was alright, and if I wanted to talk. I needed someone, and he was the only one that cared enough to care; and that’s “T”, in a nutshell. 

I love him more than I could express.

We talked for hours and hours that night (I mostly talked, and he listened) and that was the beginning of “us”, and our friendship that grew into a life together. 

We have told each other the darkest parts of ourselves; and in doing so, over this past year and a half or so of knowing him; we’ve grown together in a way, that I know not either one of us expected.

At times I know it was a choice for both of us to stay in, and keep trying…because we both can be total assholes when we don’t actively try to control ourselves. We found that out quick, and we don’t go there anymore.

I am SO proud of him, and the both of us; for staying sober like we have. I know without each other, we wouldn’t have chose to do it. We care about each other too much, to let each other live in that demon-filled place in our heads anymore, and for that I will always be grateful. 

I know that he is there for me; and I know he knows I’m there for him too.

You can’t give something like that up, because it was more work than you’d thought it would be.

THIS IS LIFE….NOT FACEBOOK.

It’s a concious choice to keep growing together, and moving forward together at this point.

I don’t think it will end, and I don’t want it to.

I always wonder why things work the way they work, but I know that I wasn’t looking for anything at all…. and then T came into my life…and I came into his. 

We found each other when we were supposed to, I think.

I believe that true, open communication is the only thing that could ever keep a relationship strong and healthy.

So for as hard as it has been; we have always, always been able to communicate. Sometimes it can be tricky at first; but it always comes; and I’ve never been able to do that in a healthy way, in any other relationship that I’ve ever had. 

I always hid myself in some way, because I didn’t think anybody could ever truly care about me, as a person, like that. 

He makes me feel alive, and encourages me to just be who I am. Everybody else has tried to shove me in a box that I have no way of fitting, because I’m not made to be kept in boxes.

He’s not afraid of my strengths, and doesn’t judge my weaknesses, because he’s been there too; and we both have both in us.

He’s simply the best thing in my life…and pushes me to be better.

I feel better because I know that as long as we keep trying together and communicating, we’re going to keep growing together, and becoming better people together; and in ourselves as well. 

We push each other to become better people. I can’t see that being NOT worth it. 

It IS worth it.

To me, all of this, has been worth it. Like I said it just clicked for me last night; I was thinking about it in a totally  different way, than I should have  been. 

I decided to add up all the positives, instead of the negatives…and that’s made all the difference.

It’s just good to feel good again about “us”; because I was unsure about a lot of things, and now I’m not. I also always promised myself, that I would never let our relationship get, to the point where it could not be fixed. 

We were friends first, and he is my bestist…he means too much to me to lose him.

I’m pretty sure he feels the same.

I know, that I still have a lot of work to do on letting go of some things that bother me inside.  I also know that everything T and I have gone through in these last months…proves that we can indeed get through just about anything if we put our minds to it. 

WE HAVE. We WILL.

I need to do my part too.

I’m glad I started remembering that again.

There was a comment on my last blog, about how “love was “work”, but it was the best kind of work to do.” 

I agree. The feeling I get, every time I see this man smile, makes me want to always be there for him, with him,…and never let him down, ever. 

I am blessed to have him in my life, and without him I know it’d never be the kind of life, that I’d want it to be. 

Truth and Communication is everything; so is being happy  and healthy in the life you lead. 

Every day I am alive, I will fight for that; for my children; and for him. 

This I know for sure. It’s the only thing that matters to me now. 

Love yourself. 

J.Rounds ©2017 ~Peaces of ME