Get a job Jen…

I woke up today and wasn’t really feeling it, but now I’m doing fairly alright.

4 months, 16 days sober.

It’s sometimes hard to forgive myself, when I’ve made such a mess of my life.  I realize that just because I’m doing the right thing now; doesn’t mean there’s not still repercussions of the past to have to deal with.

It’s not so enjoyable.

I’m fairly certain that it’ll be ok. It’s just that not all the puzzle pieces are there yet, and it’s literally like some kind of video game that I’m trying to manuver my way through legitly; without losing my life or sanity.

It sounds dramatic… but that’s how it feels.

Today I will go to the animal hotel next door, and see if they might be hiring. I’m good with animals, and I figure my situation is nothing that more money couldn’t help. I’ll also go to the Alzheimers senior care building…surely they need help with something. I can clean, cook well too. I don’t know.

How bad do I want to work for a life that is what I want it to be?

At this point, I’m done sitting back, and trying to do it my way exclusively.

I need a job, and that’s just what has to happen next.

Anybody wanna’ hire a weirdo with a good heart and an OCD brain? 😉

Love yourself.

J.Rounds ©2017 ~Peaces of ME

Maybe…

Maybe it’s because it means more….

to struggle for things you need and want.

If there was no struggle, then there wouldn’t really be that much of a reward in the end.

It wouldn’t mean anything.

I don’t know if that’s exactly true; but it’s what I tell myself when I feel beside myself, and upside down. 

Just keep going.

Today I feel good enough, and there is reason to believe that it might just be a good day after all. 

I have faith.

T and I have decided to stay where we are for now, and to take this next month and really find a place that will suit us.

I believe that things and moments come to you when you really need them. 

I’m going to stop expecting, and start accepting. 

I think it can only help in the end. 

Love yourself.

J. Rounds ©2017 ~Peaces of ME

I Believe in ME.

I find myself every day. The smallest pieces click together more than not, and make me stronger.

I am blessed for the things I do have… and I am grateful everyday for the people in my life, whom I love. 

I no longer believe that I cannot achieve my goals; it is simply all about what I will do to achieve them. 

It is easier to have faith in myself when I know I am doing whatever I can to move forward, and not wasting time on things that don’t matter.

It doesn’t always go as planned (it never does), but eventually I always get there. 

My mother has often told me that I have a way about me, in which I do almost everything the opposite of what most people will do; but I always get it done; it’s usually better than most would do it. 

I agree with this fact fully because I know it is true. I think it’s just about the level of effort I choose to put in.

No effort equals nothing but existence and sadness, and I’m not satisfied with that kind of life anymore, because that’s not who I am anymore, or how I want my life to be.

I have never really fought for much of anything but my disease, and nurturing it.

I don’t want to be remembered, as the girl who drank her life away. I don’t want to end up dead from alcoholism like my Uncle Mike.

I know I have more to offer the world than that. 

I am glad that I can say now, that I am NOT my disease, and every day of my life, from now on, I plan to prove it to MYSELF. 

I am four months and two days sober today.

I’m still alive, and there is a reason for it. 

I do know whatever happens, I have to remember I’m worth the good things, and the bad things don’t dictate my life anymore. I won’t and can’t let them.

My struggles in life, make it that much more satisfying to say that I am still here, and moving forward.

I don’t know if that makes sense to anyone but me, but it’s something I think is a miracle, and I don’t want to waste the time I have left. 

I’m not giving up on a life of peace, and I’ll continue to fight for it daily.

Just thoughts on my mind today. 

Kind of a hard week coming up for T and I, but it’ll be SO worth it for the both of us, in the end. Good vibes are appreciated. 

I hope you all have a great weekend. 🙂

Love yourself. 

J.Rounds (c)2017 ~Peaces of ME