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I wonder what the morning will bring; 

For now, I will count the stars.
My hope comes in waves and soft whispers in the night.

It is now that I want to remember.

Moments…stolen in time and tucked away in the deepest parts of me that will always remember.

Pieces of me that I can never get back, thrown about the remnants of what remains. 
Every day feels like rain until I remember that I am my own sun when I want to be. 

The sun suits me much better than rain. In the rain, it is true that I am closer to myself; but the sun is where I long to be most of the time.

With you. 

I am looking for the rainbow, because I know it will come. 

You always look up, and it’s just there. 

It comforts me. Because I know the sun is coming.

Maybe that’s weird, but that’s just me.

J.Rounds ©2017 ~Peaces of Me 

This I Know.

I work on myself because it makes me feel better about the shitty things I’ve done to other people, and MY life.

I want to leave a positive mark on the world in some way, so that my children and the people I love will remember my strengths, not my weaknesses. 

Nothing more. 

I will fight to do that.

And I’m going to win.

J. Rounds ©2017 ~Peaces of ME

Bipolar

Sometimes I just don’t know anything. 

Up and Down 

Up and Down

I try to be still and let it process through until I get it; but I just don’t know anything sometimes.

Too fast

Too slow

I wonder if I’m really in a dream; because just about the time I think I might start to make sense of things…

It changes again.

J.Rounds ©2016 ~Peaces of ME

You and Me

A quiet distance that we are not afraid of and fight to understand 

Same space

Comfort in knowing you are there living this life with me

Somehow you are healing me 

There’s no denying it

Every day is the best day 

When I see your blues 

We will ride the storms together

Make our own rainbows

And chase the moon

J.Rounds ©2017 ~Peaces of ME

Wind.

The days drift by like a dream, and like a dream, I dream of you.

I wonder if you dream of me too.

I see and hear things that remind me of you. I know those are just memories I haven’t shaken yet, but still some…most make me smile.

Scattered.

All those memories are scattered in the wind now, and somewhere I’m not; a part of my life I will never be again.

Still I think of you at times.

I can still smell the carnations in your hair.

I feel you in the wind and in my heart.

J.Rounds ©2017 ~Peaces of ME

Kind of Like That

She was neurotic. Sometimes the sound of her soul was too much.

She tried to be a good person, but was flawed automatically by default.

Do not fret she told herself. The way you are is the core of who you always were.

You forgot.

Remember.

J.Rounds (c)2016 ~Peaces of Me

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A Little Gem to Keep Me in Today….

*PSEUDO*

I try to block it out because it hurts.

I don’t understand how I’ve got myself believing in a total lie.

The kind of lie you end up living in your head that keeps you falling in over and over again.

Down into a hole of abyss and you’re covered in thick, bloody tar and clawing and holding onto nothing and everything to try to get out. But you can’t get out, so you let go and die and wake up again in some hospital room hooked up to respirator with all your friends around….AGAIN.

It’s just another day to believe you, and lie again to myself about all the things you say to me.

I believed you.

Doesn’t that just make me the stupid, weak one for loving you.

Yes it does.

I’m running out of belief.

I try to block it out, because it hurts.

J.Rounds (c)2014

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When I read through my old writings I can see how confused and hurt I was, and it makes me mad at myself that I wasted my time on such negative things. But after that initial madness…I feel a peace in the fact that I’m out of that time of my life now. Today is today, and I can live it the way I choose to. I really always could I just didn’t exactly realize it.

Lessons.

I hope you will always invest in things and people that make you feel good about life and who you are as a person. It’s really the only way to find who you were meant to be.

Love yourself.
J.Rounds (c)2016 ~Peaces of Me