Positive Affirmations Remind Me.

I’m grateful to be sober and cigarette-free.

I’m grateful to not be on synthetic medication to regulate my moods.

I’m grateful to be able to feel fully.

I’m grateful for my children.

I’m grateful for my family even though it can be hard sometimes.

I’m grateful for my health and to be working towards becoming more healthy, daily.

I’m grateful that I’m ok marching to the beat of my own drummer.

I’m grateful that I am open to learn every day.

I’m grateful I don’t compromise my values anymore to please people so they will love me.

I’m grateful to know that the people that really love me never would need me to compromise myself, and would never ask me to.

No matter what happens, I AM grateful.

Good or bad days they are mine, and I know that I am lucky for it because a lot didn’t end up surviving what I have.

I’m grateful that I can see the light now.

I’m grateful to be grateful.

I’m grateful to have actually sold a piece of my art to someone who will appreciate it.

Loving myself tonight in the wake of adversity.

J.Rounds ©2019 ~Peaces of ME

Strength in Knowing

There is strength in knowing that the only way to live my best life is to cut out the things in it, that make it unbearable to live.

Knowing this makes it easier to do the right thing when I have moments when I feel like I can’t do it.

If I ignore what I know then I am setting myself back.

Doors open when you shut the one’s that go nowhere instead of leaving them open to suck your life away.

Keep going. Shut the doors that lead to negativity in any way you can, at whatever pace *that works for you…just shut them.

I personally work every day to shut mine and keep them closed.

It’s a process; a day to day one.

Love yourself.

J.Rounds ©2019 ~Peaces of ME

The Universe Speaks to Me When I Listen.

It is said that knowing is half the battle, and I agree fully.

There’s another part though that matters just as much, and it’s what you do after you know.

I knew for a long time that I needed help to come back to ME. I knew I couldn’t do it alone too. I thought about change for a long, long time; for years.

I thought for a while that if I had a “good enough” life to the outside world, that that would fix things for me.

I was wrong.

I looked for happiness in bad relationships, material things, and other people’s opinions of me; like that was going to make my insides full of what I didn’t have.

I was wrong.

It took a long time to look at myself, for the simple fact that you never want to think that it’s your fault. No one does. You never want to think that you may be responsible for some of the worst parts/times of your life.

It’s easier to blame it on other people or on unfortunate circumstances.

I did that.

There are different stages of waking up, so it took me an awfully long time to look inward and actually get to implementing the changes in my life that I had only thought about before.

I’m waking up. There are still changes I’d like to make in my life.

It’s a process that I really wouldn’t change for anything at this point.

I honestly struggle sometimes to make sense of things I don’t understand. I can get overly anxious and I have to pull away and be mindful and deal with those feelings. I have bad days, but they are not full days of bad like they used to be. They are moments now; Sometimes multiple moments strung together; but mainly just small moments like my mind is backfiring, and then I come back to center and start running right again.

It’s a weird way to describe it, but yeah….that’s what it feels like.

It’s hard, still; but it’s not the unbearable, my life is over, I can’t go on hard like it used to be for me.

I think it will continue to get better the more sober time I get and the more I keep living life on life’s terms.

I am free of synthetic meds and have been for as long as I’ve been sober.

I don’t know if that’s where faith comes in or not.

Lately, and for a bit now, I’ve just been giving it over to the universe and knowing that I’m going to be ok, and that I am ok because I’m doing the right things for myself.

I’m walking the walk finally, every day, and it feels good. I don’t feel like I have to prove myself to anyone.

That feeling that has been with me since childhood has left the building.

I don’t think people really get that because they are so used to the old way I used to be.

I have cut people out of my life for that. I don’t regret it either.

They say that people come in and out of your life at appropriate times to show us what we need, so that we can make better choices for our own lives.

I’ve been embracing this theory and it’s been helping me to be a kinder, more gentle in nature, more understanding person than I used to be even six months ago.

I think over the years of trying to suppress myself, I built up walls and some things that weren’t really true, became to feel true to me.

I had to get past those things. I had to really look inside myself and look at how I contributed to my own sickness and my own unhealthy cycles.

It’s really freeing to make amends with yourself, to own your mistakes, to stop letting your mistakes define you, to make better choices.

It’s nice to be able to just live today in my skin, no matter what the day brings, and not have expectations on what level I need to be at, to be good enough for anyone else but me.

Sometimes I have bad days. It’s gonna’ happen. It sucks, but I work it out because that is who I am now.

I know I am so lucky to be able to still have this life, and I think about that every, single, day.

I needed the struggles to see the good in me again. I needed to know in myself that I was strong enough to turn my life around and that I could do good things with my life.

I needed good people, healthy people, people that loved me; to help me.

For a while, those people kept me alive, and that’s not a dramatization. I could never put into words how grateful I am for those people, but I try to all the time because I am thankful, and I know that by myself I could not have done it.

Now, today, it’s like the more I push past the fear of not knowing, the more chances I take to change my old thinking patterns, the stronger I become.

I have so many positive people in my life that I don’t want to be around negative ones because that’s not my normal anymore.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again; I am waking up.

I am 2 years, 4 months, and 23 days sober. I’m not looking backward anymore like backwards is my path.

It’s not.

My path is the one that I am forging today, and it’s not in that backward direction at all.

It’s a fact at this point, as well as a belief that I am on the right path.

This is MY path.

Putting genuine effort into being well, is an investment in yourself that will last a lifetime. Once you wake, you cannot go back to sleep.

This I know.

Thinking about change doesn’t change you either; only changing, changes you.

This I know for sure.

Believe that you can change the things in you that hold you down because you can. No matter what anyone else tells you.

The universe is with you.

Knowing is half of the battle. Look to the people who lift you up to show you the way.

The rest of it is up to you, and you alone.

You can do it.

Love yourself.

J. Rounds ©2019 ~ Peaces of ME

Feeling whole inside is a journey that begins with the active, daily choice to participate in your own life.

Investing in your emotional health every day = loving yourself = feeling better = being better = BETTER LIFE 🙂

Let go of the negative influences that make you second-guess your gut instincts.

It is essential to protect your gut instinct, and use it. Without it, you will drown in a literal sea of bad choices, and most likely not survive it at all.

Admitting that you need to get control of your life is the first step, in whatever area of your life that it may be.

It won’t be easy and that’s ok. Don’t worry. This is the start of a new destination to a better you.

Now that you’ve admitted it, you can actually begin.

Being honest with yourself means you’re actually going places now.

Trust your gut.

*Smiles to self.

J.Rounds ©2019 ~ Peaces of ME

Hard love yourself into changing your negative Nancy ways… because she’s a bitch.

Every day that I chose to live in my own pain and addictions, I could not feel or see anybody else’s pain, or care about anyone else properly, because I was too busy feeling and living in my own negativity, and feeding off of it.

This didn’t work for me at all, when it came to being a good mother or wife or daughter or sister or aunt or cousin or niece or friend or Jenni; I was quite the opposite of a good anything; because I was zeroed in on the fact that my life sucked, and the negativity I chose to live in was consuming me, and everyone that chose to come around me.

FINALLY; as a desperate measure; I considered focusing my thoughts on what was going right in my life for a change, instead of what was going wrong. I was tired of being sick and tired and miserable. I was tired of raging and feeling like I wanted to beat the shit out of someone every, single day. I was tired of the drama in my life, the unneeded stress of it all…the BULLSHIT.

I wanted it to stop, so I advocated for my own life.

Honestly, on a lot of days at the beginning of my journey to self-wellness, it felt much like it did after my son passed, and those first few days afterward. I was hopeless.

It felt like the only thing I had going on for me was breathing, and putting one foot in front of the other. I couldn’t do one more thing other than that, and I didn’t want to. I didn’t even want to do that.

I won’t lie, sometimes I still have days like that. They are much fewer and far between now, but they are still there.

Mental health struggles are real, and often come in ebbs and flows for me.

It is in these times, that I challenge myself to look a little bit further and to be mindful of the fact that I need to change my attitude or it won’t be getting any better for me.

I am patient but firm with myself today because I know that not every day is going to be unicorns and rainbows, and I also know that I am what I focus on.

What are you focusing on? Does it improve the quality of your life? Will it matter at the end of this day, in a week, in a month, in a year?

If the answer is no, then let the focus of it go, because it is wasting your time right now.

These are the tools you can teach yourself to do, and you don’t need a formal anything to learn them. You only need the desire to change and to get real with yourself and your situation now, and how you want it to be for you in the future.

Yes, it takes mindful practice to be positive when you don’t feel it inside; but it gets easier to look up, the more you look up. If the desire is there, you can change anything about your life that you want to. Especially your thought processes.

Choose to think glass half-full, instead of half-empty. You can do it.

When you look for the good in things, you won’t have the time to focus on the bad things and that’s when things will start to change in your life. That’s when hope comes back. That’s when you start thinking about the things you can do to make your life better. You start realizing that it was all in you from the beginning. Every. Single. Part.

Healing is a choice you make to become more peaceful.

It’s not possible to negative Nancy your way into a good life, no matter how hard you try to. I’ve tried that shit forever, don’t waste your life on it.

Expecting others to fix your life and put up with your negative Nancy in the process doesn’t work either, trust me. It’s also not fair to expect someone else to save you or run your life.

That’s not living. That’s existing.

YOU HAVE TO CHANGE YOUR OWN LIFE IF YOU WANT IT TO CHANGE.

This I know.

People ask me all the time, how I stopped drinking and trainwrecking my way through life, and this was the first thing I did.

I CHOSE to look at the positive side of life when I was not feeling positive. It’s because I wanted to feel better and live; not feel worse and die.

Only reason.

It’s impossible to make your life better if you don’t channel yourself away from the negativity in it. Your negative Nancy is a bitch, and she always will be. Get her out of your life. Shut her up by changing what you tell yourself, and what you focus on.

Most of the negativity in my life now comes from my own brain, not my actual life.

I had to do some major work to get to this point that I’m at now. There’s still work to do, and I do it every day now because I know that it’s a better way than the old way I lived. My negative Nancy is a passer-by now, not a resident.

For me, focusing on the positive, and learning to make peace with the fact that I am not a perfect person, motivated me to want to become a better person, and also gave me the love and validation I needed to give myself to move forward.

You still deserve your best life ever, no matter what anyone else says about it, and no matter where you are at in your life.

What do you say about your own life now? What do you want your future life to be like? Do you want to move forward, and stop worrying so much?

You can.

Love yourself.

J. Rounds ©2019 ~Peaces of ME

I am Not Afraid.

I am not afraid of the dark anymore; this is why I can travel through it.

It has made me stronger.

Time.

It heals most things.

But the real healing comes in facing the demons inside.

Ruthless reminders of the past, put upon the shelf of life, where they belong.

You owe it to yourself to live the life that you were given.

Not just give it away to whatever and whoever would take it from you.

Be grateful because it will save your life.

You make your own path in life, no one else. There is hope on the other side of despair. Always. Reach for it.

Be grateful every time you conquer adversity.

Look yourself straight in the eye, and be proud. You deserve to acknowledge that you did not break where you would have before.

There is internal strength and acceptance that comes in that gesture. Grace, healing, courage…so many other things.

Be kind to yourself every day.

In doing that, you can also be kind to others.

You will want to be.

Be the person you needed to be all along.

It spreads to others like a rash.

Love yourself.

J.Rounds ©2018 ~Peaces of ME

Weight

The weight of the world is on your shoulders.

So why you gotta’ go and sit on the weight?

What’s coming, who’s coming? I don’t know, aren’t you curious?

Why ya’ gotta’ go and have it all perfect before you leap?

You already know there is no net anyways, and you are the kind that always jumps.

What’s it going to take to get you off of this weight?

We need to move it, and let your life out for someone that will use it.

J.Rounds ©2017 ~Peaces of ME

I will be a Light.

There is a new-found peace within me.
The struggles are still real, but I am finding my way.
Every day I am grateful for this new understanding, and second chance at life.
I am grateful that I am no longer afraid of living.
I am not my addiction.
I am what I choose to be.

I choose to be Jenni.

I choose to be sober Jenni.

Everything that I do from here on out, directly stems from this fact.

I will DO, instead of not doing.

I will BE, instead of not being.

Every day I will remember where I’ve been; and just how far that I have come.
I will love myself; so that I can love others.

I will be a light in a world of darkness.

J.Rounds ©2018 ~Peaces of ME

No sex in my city yet.

I don’t know; but I found it hilarious that I just thought of writing a blog entitled:

How to be Carrie Bradshaw from SeX in the City; without the wardrobe, budget, or talent.

Lol.

So. This is the kind of stuff that runs through my mind.

It IS funny….but it’s not.

I should have more faith in myself.

I struggle with it and I wish I didn’t.

Love yourself Jenni.

You can

do it.

Work.

J.Rounds ©2018 ~Peaces of ME