So I’m feeling really positive; days like these, make the hard days worth it; Dr. Phil is the man… 

I think Dr. Phil is a pretty smart guy. 

He’s hardcore. NO BS. He makes sense because he spells it out logically and directly… and has a plan to turn it around most times, that’s doable.

If you do it.

It might sound cliche’, but it’s what I’m doing right now while I’m writing this blog. 

I’m trying to keep a routine, and form some sort of daily agenda that will help keep me moving forward. This will help me immensely to blog more often. I start in the late -morning, and finish it up later if it can’t be edited in the allotted time-frame….like today.

I’ve found that I thrive on structure, so although I’m not working and on SSI, I get up every day with T at 6 am, before he goes to work…and even on the weekends (Lol). I’m just used to it now, and I actually enjoy the quality time we get to spend together. It’s OUR routine. 

We did that also when we were drinking on the weekends; but we don’t drink anymore, and T has a much better job and working enviroment, doing what he loves now. I need to fill my day, with steps to a better place as well, so that I can accomplish my own goals too.

I am more than ready, and have the emotional support behind me now;  I am going to make it happen. I’m working on this every day. 

A daily routine/schedule, that involves me scheduling the work to get there, is what I’m trying to do, and build.

I’ve got plenty of things to do, and eventually I won’t be on SSI full-time, and my plan is to get off it all together again and start living my dreams; which really just means being a positive influence in my kids lives; being a healthy partner and best friend to T; spending time on and with true friends; forming some sort of working relation with my sister’s again; making sure my mother sees all us girls together again someday and talking and sisterly like we should be (I hope); making money doing what I’m good at doing and enjoy; helping others through my story; living with a purpose, instead of just a sick existence.

I need the routine to keep me on track. 

Seems like It’ll help a whole lot. 

……………………………………………………..
I’ve had some good, positive and hard growth these past days.

It’s been life-changing. 

I really don’t know how else to put it. That just doesn’t really happen that much for me.

The peaces clicked together, and I have great hope.

I KNOW that not every day is going to be rosy and life goes in that way; it just does and this is MY story. But I’m changing all around as a person in a good way, and it makes me want to keep going. 

It agrees with me.

I have so much to change still; but it will be worth it, and it will happen. 

I know my kids are worth it, 

I will be there for them in any way I can. 

I’m going to do this in the following ways:

1. I’m going to work daily to stay healthy and sober. 

2. I’m going to keep consistent contact with my 3 children, and not make plans or promises, that I know might not work out. It causes me to fail and not follow through, and cause hurt. (and then I’m afraid to contact them.) This won’t be happening anymore. I also hope I can work out a way to communicate better with my ex in the future, because I WOULD like to see them at some point, as is doable and agreeable by both parties…when things are better.

3. Positivity is what I want to remember; but I’m going to ask for help if I need it. (That means not being afraid to admit I’m upset about something and need to talk it out.

4. I’m going to work my ass off. 

5. I’m not going to stop until I get to where I need to be.

6. I’m going to believe in myself and remember that life is really about the journey…not the destination….just breathe.

I figure it’s a matter of time before I see results…it’s a no- brainer if I don’t stop. 

I want my life to mean something before I go.

And it will. 

That’s the part of the story I can control.

I’m really happy because I feel like there’s finally hope; and when there is hope, there is always a way to build on it. 

I am 99 days sober. The Fourth of July will mark 100;  I’ll make sure of it.  🙂

Love yourself. 

J. Rounds ©2017 ~Peaces of ME

That’s interesting too.

You can talk to me about anything you want to.

But what you can’t do is preach to me about things I already know about because I’ve lived through them. It’s not your right to tell me anything. Especially when all you’re doing is judging me based on what I say on the net and what my ex has said about me.

I don’t understand why you will follow me around the net, but won’t have an actual conversation with me one on one.

You’ll engage with me by writing me emails and comments… but block me so I can’t respond or write a blog based on me and make it so I can’t respond.

LOL.  Really?

It’s because you’d have to admit who you are.

And it’s because then you might actually get to know me, understand me and like me and wouldn’t be able to hate or judge me anymore with my ex.

I bet that would just kill you.

I’M NOT YOUR MOTHER. I AM ME. Don’t self -project your anger towards your mother and addicts onto me.

I’m working to be well.

I don’t have any respect for people that sit up on thrones that are dirty with their own passive- aggressive BS.

Now ask me how much your opinion matters to me?

Some more truth for you.

Love Yourself.

J. Rounds (c)2015 ~Peaces of Me

This is your life.

Billions of people settle for typical every day because it’s comfortable.

I’d rather be a struggling artist and do what I want.

I don’t fit into the 9-5 box at all.
As difficult as it is sometimes, I still have myself at the end of the day and it will be worth it.

Love what you do or there’s really no point to any of it.

J. Rounds (c)2015 ~Peaces of Me

wpid-tumblr_lr3s31um1u1r0yt6co1_500.jpg

FYI #3

I write about what I know because it comes naturally and genuinely.

There’s not much draw for me to write about other worlds or made up realities, because I’ve spent most of my existence living in one.

Exception being some of my poetry.

J. Rounds (c)2015 ~Peaces of Mewpid-kintsugi_heart.jpeg

Friendship and how I view it

I like to be nice because I am nice, really.  When I’m a bitch, I do it full on and epic like; I’m super good at it, because I have to be to not get walked all over.  It’s something I’ve kind of perfected.  I much prefer my nice side because it comes more naturally, and it’s nicer.  I’m sure others do as well.

Most of the people I surround myself with, get this about me and respect me for it.  Then there are the others that THINK they know me, but don’t at all, and overstep their bounds because they think they can.  It never ends well for them and then they end up doing an one eighty and showing their true colors, and their real reason for being around me in the first place.  Fall outs always happen like that.  I hate those; and sometimes it hurts because it’s always the people you never expect.

There’s a certain level of respect I give my friends because I genuinely care about them and love them.  I expect the same in return; and if I know you are blatantly disrespecting me to try to hurt me on purpose; I WILL call you on it.

It doesn’t take much to be kind to someone or to make a friend that could be life long.  It also doesn’t take much to lift someone up when they are hurting or feeling down.  What takes the most effort generally for most people, is respecting your friends when you don’t agree, and being civil but clear when you are disagreeing with them.  Sometimes it’s better not to say anything at all; and just accept that they have different views on certain things than you do.  That’s what a good friendship is.

At this point I am as genuine as I’m ever going to get.  I don’t hide or pretend about anything. When I’m nice to you it’s because I mean it. When I’m not nice, it means there’s a reason for it.   I’m respectful when I disagree, because It is my last intention to hurt you when I care about you. If you don’t agree with me, please be respectful if you are giving me your opinion; because I don’t allow people to talk down to me anymore, there’s no need for it.

To all my friends that care about me, I want you to know, that I care about you too.  I’m happy you’re in my life, I really am.  You are a great comfort and support system.  I hope I can always be the same for you. 🙂 I love you.

   As always, love yourself;  You are worth it.

J Rounds ©2015 ~Peaces of Me

Goof