Geez and Lord

Free writing, so you know what that means.

*It doesn’t necessarily make sense to anyone but me, and is not edited at all.

I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t get freaked out momentarily over my real potential for homelessness. 2 days.

My issue is that Housing Resources are extremely backed-up and have not helped me because of it; and I can’t rent because I don’t make 3x amount of rent to qualify without a co-signer…which I’m afraid to ask anyone to do because I don’t want to ask.

I feel I should be further than that in my life; OR at least have stable housing under lock-down already, like everyone else I know does.

I guess not MY reality.

It pisses me off for many reasons, but mostly I’m pissed at myself.

When I manage to get through this part of my life; I am never allowing myself to become unstable in this way again.

I’m never getting into another relationship that involves living with someone else.

I’m in therapy now, by the way. My therapist is really nice too.

Today I will be calling the crisis line because I need to talk.

I will be on the phone again all day long because since it’s Corona, everything is doubly hard to do.

I freaked out earlier to my best friend; now I’m focusing so I can possibly magician my situation into something more doable.

Everything I’m paying for is currently too expensive.

If I could find affordable housing it would greatly improve my situation. $1,200.00 a month for rent is too much to pay for a studio apartment room in a hotel.

Still waiting to find out about the kennel job. Corona.

Asking about cleaning job again today, because I’m still waiting for kennel job, and might be able to get a housing discount through working here.

The other girl they hired, fell through.

I don’t know anything on too much of anything right now.

Going to go figure it out, as it’s a day to day thing I guess, and there’s really no other option.

Have a great day.

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