You’d be 12 today…that’s just crazy.
I know you are gone, but it doesn’t stop it from hurting, or from wanting you back with me.
I know it would be selfish of me to accept that; if it were offered; but if I had a chance to do it all over again I would have done things so much differently, and maybe someone would have listened to me sooner. It still haunts me…but I know we can’t go back now.
It took me a long time to realize the full scope of your journey. At the time I was just doing anything I could to hold on to you a little longer. I didn’t want you to go. I was so afraid to lose you.
I still struggle to understand why there has to be such a thing, as suffering and pain, in souls that are so pure….but I cannot make sense of it. In light of this fact, I try to find some sort of acceptance in it instead…however small.
If I don’t, I will surely give up on everyone and everything, and I believe that that would not be what you would want from me.
You changed me, and made me a stronger and a better person. You kept me alive with the memories of you, when I was at my lowest, and wanted to give up. It’s because of you that I fight to be a better person.
I think of you often, and I like to think I’ll see you again.
I know you’re better now, and I only ever wanted that for you. Sometimes it is just bittersweet, I guess.
I love you… And thank you for showing me what real love and strength really means.
I never knew it before you.
J.Rounds ©2017 ~Peaces of ME