Today I tried to form some sort of sense out of a book idea I’ve had in the early stages for about a year now. About three chapters worth. Content…BS. Still significant amounts of work to get it out. Some of it can be salvaged but mostly it’s not the way I want it at all. The outline seems too vague and I want to fix it.
It seems trivial to complain about it, but like I said, it was emotional and hard to write. Not feeling too well about scrapping it, but I’m just not feeling the vibe of it anymore. It drags and that won’t do. It’s so irritating to me. It needs to be re-worked and I can’t figure out if I’m pissed off for waiting so long to come back to it, or happy nothing came from it because it’s shit, and scary, and too many real-life facts about my life. Have to change it.
I feel like a broken record because I can’t seem to fucking focus long enough to make a desicion on which way to go on this, and I’ve been thinking about it for two days now.
Certainly the coming days must have better things in store. This indecision is driving me nuts and it makes me feel vulnerable and lazy.
My biggest issue is not following through on my projects and commitments, because I spend more time thinking about it, than actually doing something about it. Second-guessing my “work”, also a huge flaw.
Tonight I will at least fill in the outline.
J. Rounds (c)2016 ~Peaces of Me