I never really thought I’d ever get to the point where I’d feel alive again; but I did, and I do.
I guess it’s true what they say about everyone and everything that comes into your life being either a friend gained, an opportunity to learn and grow, or a lesson learned.
My days are full; and I’m finding that some things I used to hold so important to me, really just don’t matter so much when it’s all said and done; because they don’t fit into my new way of living and views of things now. Sometimes you outgrow situations, and people, hence why it’s called growing.
It’s way better for me to let go of the uncertain…and focus on the things that bring me peace and serenity.
I am doing just that.
I’m still not smoking and still sober. 27 days now. It’s actually easy, because I know how I feel when I let myself down. Every day I try. I’m doing very, very well in school and I’ve taken on a cat fostering situation that is bringing me much joy, and a few bad nights. All worth it.
My two eldest kid’s Birthdays have come and gone; and yesterday was the 8 year anniversary of my son’s passing. I’m happy to say that I embraced it sober, with good thoughts about how he was when he was still alive. It felt good to know he is no longer suffering, that I am not to blame, and that I am starting to let go of his death now, in a much more “normal” fashion.
Again, I try every day.
Things are looking up for me definitely, and I am on track with my life, and on budget.
Glad to be back blogging again; but I needed the break, so it was also nice.
Even though the last years have been a literal roller coaster ride for me, I am proud of breaking free of some major things that have been holding me in limbo for so long.
I don’t feel like I can be stopped now, and I know where I’m going is good.
It was all within me all along. I only had to look for it.
J.Rounds (c)2016 ~Peaces of me