The Spiral down

July 8th, 2014

My weight has plummeted in a very short period of time. I am 126lbs now and a size 6, at 5’9″. This is the smallest I have been in 15 years.

My hair is starting to fall out in clumps and my urine smells funny.

I am walking miles and miles each day and only consuming roughly 300 calories a day because I can’t eat. Protein shakes seem to be the only thing I can really keep down.

I am dehydrated and feel so weak. I need the feeling as it is the only thing I can control.

But I look horrible.

I am starting to scare myself with the things I am doing to myself to numb myself out. I am not being smart or proper at all.

I need to change.

I miss my kids.
I miss ******.
I miss myself.

Yesterday I contemplated jumping off of the bridge on the over pass over 131. It was late and dark and no one would have seen, or have been able to stop me.

Instead I took a video and posted it on Facebook.

I wonder if anyone would even miss me.

J Rounds © 2014~Peaces of me

11165179_820482934698968_6060956252382659980_n 11207355_820482944698967_1866769186521898305_n

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s